Tuesday, April 27, 2010

April 27th, 2009

"Have a nice life!"

It was the classic scenerio.  Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, girl must leave boy.....akward goodbye scene.  A year ago today Ben and I had our goodbye scene.  We thought it was the end, but it was just the beginning.  Last fall I wrote a paper about our less-than-dramatic farewell.  Here you go :)

The Bus
   It was 3:30 in the morning. Any other day I would still be cuddly and warm all snuggled in my bed next to my pink fuzzy rabbit named “Bunny.” This day was different. I was about to get on a bus that would take me to a plane that would take me to the other side of the globe. I was going to spend the next month with 50 other art students travelling around Europe and I was very excited. But first I had to get off of the couch where I had fallen asleep the night before. My phone vibrated next to me on the pillow where my head was resting. I opened my eyes and tried to focus on the name scrolling across the screen. It was Benjamin Salter Betts. Ben was my long-time crush, my best friend, and my ride to the bus stop. He had dark brown hair, clear brown eyes, and towered over my petite stature. He loved 80’s music and High School Musical. We did everything together and that morning was no different. I answered the phone with a lethargic “hello.” He was calling to make sure I got out of bed and to see if I wanted a bagel for breakfast. I told him I would like a plain bagel with plenty of cream cheese please, it’s my favorite food.

   Two weeks before that early morning, Ben and I had had a little discussion. The night was a little frigid for April and I was wearing a light jacket. Ben kept asking me if I was chilly and I pretended to be tough and kept telling him that I was fine. We were sitting on a large, cold boulder near an intersection where we could watch the cars drive by. He was wearing the green jacket that I loved. We sat just close enough that our arms were touching but not too close because we were “just friends.” We both had feelings for each other and had hoped that someday our relationship could turn into something more lasting but there was a giant and unavoidable glitch in our plans. I was leaving for the summer and he was planning on an internship that next fall. There didn’t seem to be any chance that our paths would cross again. We both agreed that long-distance relationships were not a wise decision. If we were lucky enough to meet again in the future, we would try for this whole dating thing again. It was decided that the two weeks before I left would be full of fun but after that we would both move on to whatever life had planned for us.

   I rolled out of bed that early morning and put on my glasses. I rarely wear my glasses. They are out of style and they turn into sunglasses when exposed to UV light. How embarrassing. I didn’t want to wear my contacts because I knew they would just dry out once I fell asleep on the plane. The rest of my outfit was also tailored around napping on the plane. I put on an old t-shirt, some comfortable jeans, and a pair of flip-flops. I didn’t bother washing my hair because it would just get oily and matted by the end of the day anyway. At least I brushed my teeth. There was a knock at the door and I hurried to answer it before my roommates woke up. There stood Ben with my bagel, all handsome in his green jacket. I felt a little bad because I hadn’t showered.

   Nothing really changed after the discussion between Ben and me. We still did everything as a pair but now we pretended there were no romantic intentions. We watched movies, changed the oil in his car, and cooked meals together. One day we made fried chicken strips. They were crispy, delicious, and covered in Creole seasoning. We made enough to last us all day. That night we stayed up late sitting on the couch eating chicken and looking up our hometowns on Google Earth. We talked about our families and friends from back home. We talked about places we want to go someday and things we want to do. I told him about how I planned on traveling the world as a photo journalist and living out of a backpack. He told me about his dream of starting an advertising agency and raising a family in Southern California. I wanted to hold his hand really bad that night, but I knew that would only make things harder when I left, so I didn’t.

   I felt kind of bad when Ben picked me up from my apartment and I looked like I had just rolled out of bed. He looked dashing in his green jacket and blue jeans. He wore his grey and white Adidas. He handed me my breakfast, grabbed my suitcase, and we headed to his car. I immediately started jabbering about how excited but nervous I was to go to Europe. He had to open my car door for me. All the handles had frozen off long before I met Ben and I still hadn’t learned the skill to maneuver the lever correctly to get the door open. It had gotten below freezing that morning so I sat in the car while he wiped the frost off his windshield. I knew this would be the last time I would see Ben for a few months, possibly even forever. I had no idea how I was going to say goodbye.

   Two days before driving me to the bus stop, Ben took me on a final date before I left. We went to see a dance performance on campus and then met up with some friends for ice-cream. Ben got a Gorilla Munch Crunch with banana and I got a flavor that turned out to be disgusting because it had coconut in it. We sat at a table waiting for our friends to join us. We talked and we laughed. I felt so lucky to have such an amazing friend who I could talk to about anything. I never felt awkward or embarrassed and no conversation was ever boring. Ben made me feel special and beautiful and I loved being with him more than anything. After eating we headed over to his apartment to watch a movie. I was exhausted but I didn’t want to leave him. He told me that he didn’t want me to leave. That night when I got home, I broke down and called a friend from back home. I cried and told her that I didn’t want to go to Europe anymore, that I had made a mistake. I was too much in love to want anything else. She told me I was being crazy and that I would get over it once I stepped off the plane.

   The car ride to the bus stop seemed to last just a few seconds. Ben hardly talked and I just rambled on about plans for my trip. When we got to our destination, the bus was already there. I wasn’t ready to leave. I could see my other classmates loading up their luggage and boarding the bus. Ben and I reluctantly headed out into the cold. We dragged my blue, beat up suitcase over to the bus and stood silently next to each other while the driver lifted it into the back. We slowly walked over to the door of the bus, dreading the impending goodbye scene. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, how bad I would miss him, and how long the summer would be without him. Two weeks before none of these feelings seemed all that significant but now they were the most important things in the world to me. Instead, I just thanked him for the bagel and for being such a good friend to me. I told him not to have too much fun without me. We gave each other a hug, not to fast, but not to slow either. We both knew we would miss the other, but neither of us wanted to show any kind of weakness that morning. We wanted to be strong for each other. No tears were shed, no love was pronounced. Only comfort and support was shared in that quick embrace. Then I turned from Ben and walked onto the bus.

We all know what happened next.  Ben broke his promise of staying away from me to write me a very adorable "I miss you" letter while I was in Paris and the rest is history :)
p.s. Ben will tell you that I barely even hugged him...and I'll admit it...even though I didn't want to leave Ben...I was pretty darn excited to get on that bus.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I Get It Now

Today I discovered something.
I finally understand why women like to scrapbook so much!  And here it is:
-We love to reminisce.  I love to talk about back in the day when Ben and I were dating.  I like to remember the first time we held hands or that one time he wrote me a poem.  I like to talk about our wedding day and how much fun it was.  But, boys don't like to talk about that stuff.  It's too mushy I suppose.  Soooo, scrap booking fulfills my need to reminisce about all those times.  I get to read stuff and choose my favorite pictures.  I write down my memories and little fun facts without even boring Ben.  Haha.  It's great fun.
-Reason number two (and I don't know if this applies to everyone) it gives me a place to put all my stuff.  I have a box full of stuff from back when Ben and I were dating and when we got married.  There are invites and cards and pictures and paper chains :)  The box kinda intimidated me and I never looked through it.  But now that it's all in an album, it's like art!  It's so much fun to look through!

Anyway, I haven't turned into a full blown scrapbooker yet.  I've just been putting things into an album, but it is so fun!  That's all :)
Rachel Betts

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Favorite #2

Switchfoot's Album Hello Hurricane
"The storms of this life shatter our plans. They tear through our world and destroy our hopes and dreams. They ruin sunny days, flatten the structures we depend on, and shock our world views. Hello Hurricane is an attempt to sing into the storm. Hello Hurricane is a declaration: you can't silence my love. My plans will fail, the storms of this life will come, and chaos will disrupt even my best intentions, but my love will not be destroyed. Beneath the sound and the fury there is a deeper order still- deeper than life itself. An order that cannot be shaken by the storms of this life. There is a love stronger than the chaos, running underneath us- beckoning us to go below the skin-deep externals, beyond the wind, even into the eye of the storm. Hello Hurricane, you're not enough- you can't silence my love." -Jon Foreman

Wow, Just watched the "Making of Hello Hurricane" dvd and it changed my life.  I can't even put into words how much passion and intensity was put into this cd.  Every song was created with purpose and meaning.    Lead singer Jon Foreman said that if his songs aren't in him enough to make him cry, then why is he singing them?  It made me wonder if I'm trying my hardest as an artist.  So far nothing I have done has made me cry.  I want to change the world.  I want to create feeling in my images.  I want to love them and I want people to feel that love.  I need to find the passion in my work.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Day After Moving Day

The day after moving day is one of the best days ever.  Wednesday and Thursday of this week were spent moving and cleaning.  Both days were beautiful and it was kinda tragic that we had to spend most of the days inside packing.  Luckily we had plenty of friends come to help us out.  Yesterday we spent the whole day cleaning our old apartment so that we could check out.  It took, like, seven hours!  That's a lot.  And now my arms hurt from scrubbing.  But it was worth it.  Today has been so relaxing.  We unpacked the essentials yesterday so I don't have to worry about that.  I have been in bed most of the day, just being lazy.  Ben and I spent most of the morning just talking and watching What Not To Wear.  We like to make fun of Stacie and Clinton's so called "Fashion Sense."  We have seven windows in our new apartment.  SEVEN!  And they are huge, so they are all open.  And I've put all the clothes away and did a load of laundry (My goal for the day).  And we went to the park and I got to play with my friends adorable little son.  So today has been one of the best days ever.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


Today is going to be oh so fabulous.
I babysat the cutest little baby this morning...even if she did cry the WHOLE time I was there.
Winger's Original Amazing Sauce is amazing...it's true.
I'm so excited to finally finish all my thank you cards.
It feels so great to be done with last semester.
I thought Documentary was gonna kill me...but it didn't.
I'm watching a guy on tv eat a giant burger.
I still haven't really slept in since I got out of school.
I need a harcut.
Taxes?  That's Ben's job today.
I like to watch TLC...do you have a problem with that?
I can't wait to move into my new apartment!
I'm going to miss Melissa so much this summer.
I miss Rome.  And Salzburg.  And Vienna.  And the Underground.  And bikes.  And   postcards.
I love to hold Ben's hand.
I can make some mean chicken and rice...and that's all.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

My Favorite Thing Part One:

I read this blog where this girl writes one favorite thing on her blog every weekend and I thought it was a fabulous idea!  Since right now I have been so blessed, there are a lot of favorites.  But for today it is General Conference.  It is such a blessing to be able to listen and be counseled to the prophets of the world.  Their testimonies are so strong, and they help to srengthen mine.  The talk that really stood out to me today was the one about teaching your children at home.  I can't remember who gave it.  But it's something I've been thinking about for awhile.  I've always felt that parents should be the teacher's of their children, we shouldn't just depend on the school system or primary.  Parents should teach their children how to read, write, and add.  They should teach their children gospel principles and how to build a testimony.  By having that hand in our children's life, I feel like they will be comfortable coming to us when they have questions or struggles in life.  Anyway, that's what I got out of it.

Other things I love about General Conference weekend:
-Making a big breakfast
-Staying in my pajamas all day
-Cuddling with my husband ;)
-Playing Ultimate Frisbee between Saturday sessions (Not this year, since it snowed a foot this morning)
-Watching the cheesy mormon movies on BYUTV
-Game night after Priesthood session
-Sleeping in!